I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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