She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
