I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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