So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
