I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
