she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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