Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
