yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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