Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
