Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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