I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
