Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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