then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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