i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
