I bet he comes in French.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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