I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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