I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do herpes really smell.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
