so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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