So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
