margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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