Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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