she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
