FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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