i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love you. Go after that dick
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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