Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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