We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
