I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
