Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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