I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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