yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
