i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You need a sexual gate keeper
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
