i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
