He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
