Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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