I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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