i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
vagina is talking i cant
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
