I just made out with a guy for $7.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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