Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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