i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
