they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Are we still banned from the library?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
