My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
