why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
