Whod you bang
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
