I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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