think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Someone signed my nipple.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
