walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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