i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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