Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You need Xanax blowdarts
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
