omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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