I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
